The Truth…Ugly or Not I will take a break from the joys of church and serving Jesus to give an explanation. I know there are people who disapproved of the way my parents raised me. I could see it in their eyes, sense it I how they related to me, and some even told me so when I was a teenager …please no pity. As I was saying this is the truth. As a very young child, I had severe allergies. In fact, they were so severe I had a tonsillectomy before I was four years of age. I took allergy medicine for years, and other measures were taken. However, an astute allergist came back with diagnoses that hinted of neurological issues. I had been born with an abnormally large head; in prekindergarten and kindergarten, I could not keep up in physical tasks (maybe she should flunk kindergarten … but she can read). The doctors finally determined I had a disease/disorder they called Neurofibromatosis. At that time, there was little known about it. My parents were naturally worried, because no one knew where it would end. I had great difficulty with physical tasks in elementary school, and some of my teachers made me feel like damaged goods. One of my classmates called me “the kid with the stretched head.” I saw a neurologist briefly, but spent far more time with orthopedists who thought they could correct the curve in my lower back. After wearing a brace for three years and seeing a physical therapist for just as long … we realized it was a waste. We continued going to church during that time, and I am sure I was prayed for healing in the Alliance tradition, but the Father had other plans. People began to accuse my parents of becoming over protective, but they had to be. The fact of the matter was that I could not do what other children could do. The doctor had said no highly competitive sports, although I played a little in the neighborhood pickup games – I wasn’t very good. I was never allowed to make the treks to the corner drug store --- I just couldn’t keep up. My body image frustrated me more as I grew into adolescence. My self-esteem plummeted. More evidences of NF began to emerge. We bonded more as a family since I felt ostracized from my peers because I was different. My church youth group was the only place where I felt a margin of acceptance. I could not drive, due to coordination issues, although people were convinced it was my over protective parents. I completed high school and went on to college, living at home. Although I had a number of theological doubts particulary surrounding my salvation, I wonder if much of my doubt related to my own questions … did NF happen to me because I sinned and I never had the guts to ask the question. When I began to develop severe headaches after college, it was time to consult another neurologist. He realized that the hydrocephalus that had been present since childhood was an evidence of an Arnold Chiari II Malformation and would demand a shunt. It was a scary thing to be shunted at almost 30 years of age, but God had his hand in it. The diagnosis came in time to prevent greater future issues. NF never goes away. Issues continue to arise and need to monitored. Mom and Daddy were continually concerned until Jesus took them to Heaven I do not want pity. I have strong support system in place. I have written this in their defense particularly for those who believed I was over protected and in extreme gratitude for the years of care, they gave to their daughter.